Haiku and the Pictograph in EL, "between our spines" by Dana Duclo - February 2008 -

. . . .

This is an EL (Earth Language) experimental page to enjoy
the image of a haiku/short poem originally in English/Japanese.
When you can't see the Japanese parts, please don't mind and just skip those parts, or see here to view Japanese.

I think many of you have less exercise in this rainy or snowy season,
also only a few chances to watch the moon. For such visitors, I prepared a bonus for this month.

When I found this haiku by Dana Duclo at November 2007 Issue Vll:4
"The Scorpion Prize for Best Haiku/Senryu of ISSUE VII:3" in Roadrunner Haiku Journal website,
I enjoyed it in two ways:

(1) When taking "our spines" as "spines of you and me," I could see the romantic moonshine,
making the couple almost transparent.
(2) When taking the meaning of "spines" as "vertebras," some Qi/Chi-Gong or yoga kind of
senses sprang up, feeling the full moon as a symbol of the shiny universe, falling into the bodies.

From this (2)-image, a new EL Meditation Exercise came up to me.
After enjoying Duclo's haiku, please try it to feel your body and spirit becoming one
with the moonshine. You need not even stand up from your seat to do this.
So here I translated the haiku according to (2).

The author, Mrs. Duclo is a Polish-American writer and a certified school psychologist,
certified yoga instructor, living in Tucson, Arizona with her husband and daughters.
Her yoga body senses naturally worked for this unique expression.

The original haiku by Dana Duclo:

falling into
the space between our spines—
full moon

The Japanese translation:

満ちた月 背骨のすきまに落ちてくる

The EL translation:

The symbols in the pictograph:
: the moon (月)
: light (noun), shine (vi. with #gd) (光)
{ a life, for the shape}(as the fundamental setting): torso (胴体)
{ torso shape, being/existence}: sit, sitting (座)

The symbols in the EL translation:

{ full circle, vessel)}: filled, full (満)
{ globe, a half circle)} (sometimes circle/a half circle): the moon (月)
{ preposition-mark, verb-mark}: forming a verb with the following word, and it modifies the front word.
{ vertical shape, downward}: fall (n. and v. with a verb mark; as a picture-like ideogram) (落下)
: fall (vi.) (落ちる)
{ preposition-mark, halfway, amid}: between or among (〜の間の(に)
Since includes (space) and (position), only this ideogram can express for "into the space between," I think.
{ {power, stable/hard}: bone (骨), for the vertical shape, back}: backbone/spine/vertebra(s) (背骨)
EL is not fussy about single or plural as the rule, but if you'd like to distinguish it's plural for spines,
you can compound plural mark on .
Also here I omitted "our" that is in the original verse, from Japanese and EL translations.
In the (2) situation, it's not much necessary in these languages.
T tell about the (1) view, please add (we, our, us depending on the position) in front of .


Roadrunner Haiku Journal
のThe Scorpion Prize for Best Haiku/Senryu of ISSUE VII:3


解釈 (1) ourをあなたとわたしととると、2人を透明にするロマンティックな
解釈(2) spinesを複数の脊椎全体ではなく vertebras (脊椎骨) と受け取り、
our は月下にいる人々のと解釈すると、この満月は宇宙の象徴のように感じられ、
気功の気分が涌きました。そして新しい 地球語瞑想体操が生まれました。


アリゾナにお住まいの作者Dana Ducloさんは、お母さんライターで、

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